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Siddhartha is discontented following Hinduism. He reasons that since
Atman created the other gods, then he is the only true god, and the
others are transient. This troubles him because he feels that the
practice of the Brahmins of worshipping all the gods is misguided.
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Siddhartha's discontent grows strong enough to drive him from home. He
joins the Samanas and learns much from them. Self-deprivation gives him
some comfort in striving towards a goal, and he manages some escapes from
the Self as well. Eventually, though, he realizes that these escapes are
only temporary and that even the old Samanas have not attained Nirvana.
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Siddhartha's experience with the Buddha shows his growing distrust of
teachings. He sees Nirvana in Buddha, but knows in his heart that
teachings cannot bring it. Siddhartha almost doesn't consider hearing
Buddha's words because he knows they can do so little for him. Instead,
he sets out on his own to pursue personal enlightenment.
In Samsara
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By the River
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With Vasudeva
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After leaving the Buddha, Siddhartha becomes depressed and decides to
abandon virtue for vices. It is at this point that he strays the farthest
from Nirvana, yet this step is very necessary for Siddhartha to
progress along the path. His hatred for wealth drives him to waste it,
and such desires cause him to earn more and more.
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After many years of living in Samsara, Siddhartha becomes depressed. He
realizes that the beautiful bird that once sang in his soul has become
silent. He even believes that it has died for a time. But in truth it
has only slept. When he reaches the river and perches above it, he hears
from the depth of his soul the holy Om. This is proof that the bird
lives. Siddhartha is jubilant because he knows now that years of Samsara
have not conquered his soul, have not suffocated the bird.
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When Siddhartha returns to Vasudeva, who predicted his return many years
before, he listens to and learns from the river. The river teaches him
more than any human teacher could have, such as the fact that time is an
illusion, that all things are as they always have been and always will
be. Siddhartha finally finds peace in this.
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